Most of us would do just about anything for our partner, all in the name of a happy, healthy relationship. But if you want things to truly go well, there’s actually a pretty hefty list of things you should stop doing for your partner. This, my friends, is all thanks to “good intentions” and how easily it is to go overboard with them.
Take being agreeable, for example. Even though it comes from a loving place, saying “yes” to everything is not the ticket to a balanced relationship. Healthy couples can agree to disagree, fight a little, and state their opinions — all without fear of repercussion.
If you choose to be nice all the time, then I’m sure you can see how problems might form down the road. In fact, “your overload of good deeds can actually change the way your partner sees you or feels about themselves, and this can really impact a relationship,” says clinical psychologist Dr. Paul DePompo, in an email to Bustle.
That’s because all relationships need a healthy dose of give and take, licensed marriage and family therapist Annie Wright, MFT, tells me. If you find yourself constantly prioritizing your partner, always saying “yes,” or picking up their slack, then you can’t expect to have a healthy relationship. Sound familiar? Then read on for some of the things you should stop doing, ASAP.
1. Trying To Anticipate Their Every Need
While incredibly sweet in theory, trying to anticipate your partner’s every need — and doing everything for them — isn’t considered very healthy. As Wright says, “Relationships work best when we create space for our partner to notice and name what their needs and wants are, not when we always assume or rush to meet what we project they might want.” So kick back, relax, and get a bit choosier about how often — and when — you offer up some help.